Choices

“We are all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand scale. Most of these choices are on lesser points, - however, we define ourselves by the choices we have made. We are in fact, the sum total of our choices.
Events unfold so unpredictably, so unthoroughly. Human happiness does not seem to have been included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that gives meaning to the indifferent Universe…
…And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying, and even find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more.”

-- Woody Allen, “Crimes and Misdemeanors”



Well, impossible to say it better than that.

I find I am faced by choices - the exact nature of some are yet to crystallise.
Stay or Go, Spend or Save, Surgery or Struggle.

Stay or Go
I had a really successful meeting last night with Nick Forbes and the team out at the airport. The role has been better defined. It's to manage the Duty Free, the Travelex, and the Indoor Outdoor Media. It's the biggest part of the portfolio (70% of revenue) and to me the most interesting. Lots of challenges - not least about how to manage the commitment to the commerce commission to maintain at least two Duty Free options until 2015. It will be important also to understand the relationships between the Duty Free parent, the on ground team, and the distribution pressure - e.g Does the shared parent of LVMH influence DFS to favour Chanel vs Estee Lauder.

and do you know - Simon has always been very good to me. He is a known quantity. And there will be opportunities opening up - there has to be with three of the leadership team moving on and the organisational changes that Simon will want to stamp as a signal of change.

Nick was interesting. He quite baldly said - "18 months ago if you had said to me that you like change I would have discouraged you from taking the role. Now that's not the case." He struck me as a very straightforward, smart, capable man, and given that he is moving on without artifice or an agenda of his own.

I've just had a coffee with Jennifer Witchlow from PWC and went through my dilemna. To decide whether or not to leave London and fly to New Zealand with no job, no house, nothing but herself she ended up flipping a coin. We both agreed though that a coin toss could validate an existing gut decision. If it didn't we would rationalise - go 2 out of 3 - or reproof ourself that a coin toss was no way to make such a momentous decision.

It's certainly a good way to prove out what your gut is telling you.

The case for staying. Apart from the $ - which to be fair is yet to crystallise.

It would be fun to turn around the culture of ICT Operations. And personally rewarding. It would keep my management/coaching muscle well exercised. I am a good leader and this is a chance to prove it out without having the pre-existing specific knowledge (or any handicapping preconceptions). I would get a great deal of support from some really excellent people - Mel and her new tea, Doug, the Sales people, hopefully Peter Finch. The new GM may be someone I really bond with and can learn a lot from. Once someone delivers for CQ he is loyal. It's a strike for common sense and validates the efforts put in here at GACD over the last couple of years. I have a well established network and opportunities will continue to open up at such a large organisation.

It sounds so weak and gutless compared with striking out on a new challenge to be part of an organisation on the move.

So how much is happiness worth.

Surgery vs Struggle
There are a lot of very fat people around. Many are much bigger than me. Though that doesn't make it right. Is it a self indulgence to want to improve my chances of good health for the rest of my life. Is not to do it simply churlish - spitting in the face of the fortunate position I am in whereby I have a choice.
I can eat a lot less - it hasn't been difficult over the last few weeks. It's just about awareness. But I am hungry nearly all the time and often have the feeling I could snap in a moment of weakness. To do away with this would be immensely powerful.

I really do enjoy moving my body - I love Yoga, stretching and walking, feeling strong. But I feel clumsy with my enormous bust and tummy, I tire ridiculously quickly. Removing 20kg will make it so much easier to focus on fitness and really enjoy it. Summer is coming making it much easier to carve out the time, then, once the habit is formed to continue with it.

Aside - reinventing myself with the airport job can only be good here.


Indulge myself with a convertible?
Only if I get a redundancy cheque.