Ego's

There are so many subtle and not so subtle ways that people seek to deposition other people.

• Making people wait for appointments (is happening to me right now).


• Standing and walking around while others are seated.


• Multi-tasking such as texting or e-mailing - these people are more important than you are.


• Playing chicken - pushing the other person to the line until they break and, say, get up and do the dishes or volunteer for a project that they really can't accommodate.

The bigger question is why? Like most bullying I guess it comes back to a self esteem issue but it's also important to remember that what may seem as a slight (such as being kept waiting) from one angle may be unconcious on the other - they may genuinely be running over time, or need time to collect their thoughts.



So as usual, issues on all sides.



I do want to think a bit more about the concept of ego though. And by that I really mean egotism; self-importance and conceit. The antithesis of humility which has often been defined as one of the core attributes of successful leaderhip. Interestingly conceit has the same root as deceit.



A level of egotism obviously helps support the drive, self assuredness and competitiveness than can assist in leading. I am certainly not without vanities of my own. These are generally around taking the high ground in terms of managing others, the customer experience or strategy. I need to keep working on these and being concious is the first step. At the same time though, I do have skills in all of these areas and need to be contributing my strengths. How do I do this with humility. Lots of questions, praise when people are on the right track, redirecting when they may not have explored all the options. Valuing diversity of opinion and being open to views through other lenses is also important. Things in business are increasingly ambiguous and is is unconscionable to think one has all the answers.


And building trust through small closed loops so that when I do need to put my foot down there is a feeling that it is a considered and thought through decision.

So I made a mistake. And I'm OK about admitting it. I get the Paul Wilson thing - he is good with people - probably a massive RI. His offbeat comments are a factor of the way his mind works. He randomly asked me "do you wake up every morning with your head spinning with ideas?" and got it when I said "yes, of course, what's your point?". While there is unquestionably buckets of egotism it's likely that what I have taken as arrogance has more likely been simply distraction.

Paul also picked up that I have another offer on the table and asked that I make sure I let them know if this becomes an issue. I'm holding on to the thought that timing wise everything will work out.